wasted mind, wasted thoughts

I plead with everyone who's reading this to support local music, productions, whatever.
No, support local music first, then think about the rest.
I really felt angst while watching the 5min "documentary" of the Observatory on central just now.
It was pathetically short.
I bet it was shorter then 5 mins! But what the heck, at least they got to the visual means of making themselves known.
They are really a talented bunch of people. Old they may be, but full of passion for what they believe in.
How many of us can actually pursue what we love all the way?
Never giving up, ever enduring. Ever increasing passion, never swayed.
Mind you, they've been around for quite some time (I think). Old-timers.
Please I beg all who's reading this, go check out the Observatory. Get their CD. No harm at all.
Support their spirit at least.

Something happened this morning that totally pissed me off the rest of the day.
Some dickhead actually gave me a piece of his mind for something that happened on Saturday.
Well, he's higher ranking yes, but poking your nose further than it should go isn't very nice.
I admit I was at fault, yes. But bringing up matters of the past and certain issues that aren't related at all into the picture? OH PLEASE.
I oh so felt like giving him a blow right on that nose of his.
But I don't want to get charged.
I really wanna fuck off from this regimental institute. Away from all the shit that you can't avoid.
All that crap about being an officer and stuff. I'm beginning to see the truth. It's all bullshit.
You lead your life as an example, we don't need anything to remind us that we're in a situation where we can't afford to err, or we'll be dead.
Lead by example. Lead my ass. Or rather lick it.
I can't stand crap anymore.
I pratically just lock myself in the office, a way of keeping myself away from the rest of the world, and read my book in peace. Away from all the eenie minee crap that come along the way.
I know I might sound arrogant, but I think I deserve better.
There's no point giving your best for a place that doesn't deserve it.
7 more months. Hold on there dude.

Phew. Cool down.
Damn it. Now I gotta report to my boss tomorrow morning because of that asswipe.
Great.

Movie: Zatoichi
Rating: 4/5
Comments: Great filming. I loved the fight scenes though not as much as I expected. Many different characters. He connected every single person so perfectly, adding in bits and pieces of their lives along the way. Don't miss the ending. Even if the cinema is on fire, stay till the end. Loved the ending.

Watched Kill Bill Vol.2 a few hours back.
Superb.
A must watch.
Rating: 4.5/5
Comment: Great filming. I loved the parts which used retro filming tactics from old chinese kung fu flicks, where they zoom in and out of a characters face. Fabulous. Entertaining. They even added in retro music in the background to give it the extra punch.
Though it's kinda mindless, but it's great entertainment. Word of advice, don't ask to many questions with regards to the show. Just enjoy it.
I absolutely loved the five point heart exploding technique.
If you've got no money to watch the show, sell a limb for $8.50 and watch it. It's worth your $8.50. I'd advise everyone to grab the box set if there is one as well. Both volumes.

Just came back from Starsky and Hutch.
I can tell you the whole story with just one short paragraph.
2 cops trying to nab a big boss who's trading cocaine he smuggled. Put some slapstick into the show. You got yourself Starsky and Hutch.
Rating: 2/5 or 2.5/5
Comments: Go rent the VCD for $2. It's worth that kinda money.

Tonight was quite an interesting night.
It's the JTS dinner. JTS stands for "Juniors Treat Seniors".
I didn't want to go initially as I wasn't a junior, neither am I a senior as well.
I just wanted to catch a movie from my list. (Apparantly it sucked but kinda tickled)
In the end I went as I didn't want to be labelled an outcast from DB..
The turnout was fantastic. EVERYONE WENT (less those on essential duties! Thank God.. =X)
It was really wonderful, I couldn't imagine every single JO actually turned up. I was kinda touched actually, and impressed by how sporting everyone was. I was thinking that these guys would back me up if anything were to happen in camp. We would cover one another.
We were more than colleagues.
We were friends.
I digress.
Before we left camp for the dinner, we played soccer.
I was walking back when the newer guys asked if I was going.
I simply told them that I wasn't interested as it wan't meant for me. One of them actually said I shouldn't go as a Junior or a Senior. I should go as a friend.
That was a simple yet remarkable comment.
Back to the dinner.
It was a simple dinner and movie while some others had to leave because of the habit of clubbing or drinking on wednesdays.
I really appreciate the effort although it isn't much. Oh well, they are a great rowdy bunch.
Sad to see some of the ORD-ing soon though.. It'll be my turn soon!!!!
ORD LOH!(Those who're reading this, I know what you'll all be thinking.. I know you all ORD-ed a long time ago lah! Piss off!! hahaha)

Oh well.. Gotta head to bed and be prepared to drag myself to work once more. So many things are happening. Sigh.
=(

HELP!
I have to many shows to catch!
HOW!? WHAT CAN I DO!?

My must watch list
Golden village www.gv.com.sg
1)Starsky and Hutch
2)Taking Lives
3)Sylvia
4)Corps A Corps
5)Walking Tall (Maybe not..)
6)My Girl (HOW COULD I HAVE MISSED IT!?)
7)Gospel Of John (Heck, it's ending it's run soon)

Cathay www.cathay.com.sg
1)Zatoichi
2)Xanda(Maybe not..)
3)50 First Dates
4)Elephant (Sounds like a really interesting show. Must watch!)
5)Suicide Club (Maybe not..)

Those I mention are shows that are showing currently (according to their websites..)
If I were to watch all of them during weekends, I would be one hell of a poor bloke. And anyway, if I only watched shows on the weekend, I would probably miss some of them, like I normally do..
I must start watching shows myself! Hmmph!
It is so difficult to find the right company for the right shows.
And some people don't even know why the hell some shows should be watched in the first place.
Mainstream shows are ok.. But not too much please.
There are hell lotta better quality shows out that that don't really require millions to manufacture.
I still thirst to watch good shows I've missed before.. And to know shows that I've been ignorant about.
I want to be a movie freak.
They contain so many things that we can think about. Even some B grade shows, mind you.
I love visual information. Well, a picture speaks a thousand words. So I rest my case.

I must really speak about my love for Cathay Cineleisure. It imports good foreign movies most of the time and screens them for ignorant people like me to enjoy. I must say they have done a lot to help me enjoy good movies. Their comfortable broad, wide seats actually complement the good shows they screen.
Well, I'm not paid to advertise.. I'm just airing my views. Shaw Brothers isn't that bad either. Prince/Jade is another cinema that I must highly recommend. Big spacy cinemas, no crowds, wide screens, no queue for drinks, what more is there to ask for?

If anybody would love to watch any of the movies I mentioned above, PLEASE call me, or email me, or whatever. Just contact me. I'm desperate.

Liz Phair - Sway
Don’t stray
Don’t ever go away
I shouldn’t
you’re much too smart for this
you know it gets the better of me
sometimes when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you
pull me out in time
Don’t let me drown
Let me down
I say it’s all because of you

And here I go
Losing my control
I’m practicing you’re name
So I can say it to you’re face
It doesn’t seem right
To look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Tumbling out my mouth
And beat its time
Tell me why you say its infinitely true
Say or stay don’t come and go like you do
Sway my way
yea i need to know all about you

and there’s no cure
and no way to be sure
why everything’s turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
it makes me so tired
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
And my logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten the every afternoon

say or stay
don’t come and go like you do
sway my way
yea i need to know all about you
say or stay
don’t come and go like you do
sway my way
I need to know all about you
its all because of you
its all because of you

now it all turns sour
come sweeten the every afternoon
its time tell me why
you say its infinitly true
say or stay
dont come and go like you do
sway my way
yea I need to kno all about you
say or stay
dont come and go like you do
sway my way
yea I need to kno all about you
its all because of you
its all because of you
its all because of you

Well, sometime has passed since I last used the com at home to blog.
Something came to my mind out of no where.
I guess I'm starting to enjoy the feeling of home.
The pleasure of being able to do anything you want, going out anytime I want (that is a contradiction right?)
I don't like restrictions. Who does? But it so happens that I am in an organisation that offers the most.
I enjoy freedom. Who doesn't?
I hate being pressured by time, peers, superiors. Who doesn't?
Sigh.
Every morning I have to drag myself to work. I lie in bed thinking if I could just lie there motionless, and not being bothered by affairs that I'm least concerned about.
But do I have a choice?
Choice, what a misplaced word. Where can we ever find choice? Do we really have a choice in everything we do?
Free will? Is there really free will?
Argh, humbug.
I think I shouldn't think too much right?
I'm not in the mood to think deep now.

Now I'm thinking of something else. I'm currently listening to the song "Sway".
Heard that song on Tim's car once. I had to get that song. I love it.
(Think American Pie 1 when everyone just starts making love. Yes, the love making scene at the end)
Songs have their way with manipulation. They make you think of stuff out of nowhere.
It bring back a sense of deja vu because you heard that song when something happened ages ago.
You can think of something that's associated with the lyrics that happened before.
Or feelings could be churned out because of the strong lyrics that impose some meaning to your life.

I remember all the times when I felt strongly swayed by a certain someone.
I could give up things I had at hand just to meet her for seconds.
I could go all out to get something for nothing.
I'm still thinking if my actions could be justified. Was it worth my effort?
Maybe I wouldn't even be bothered if it was worth it. I thought of her feelings. Those were my priority.
A precious nights off of 3 hours, just to see her for 5 mins, but the rest of the time spent travelling.
Now things have mild down a lot. I no longer do crazy things as often. AS OFTEN.
Are we being selfish if we weigh our actions? whether it was worth it? or justifiable?
If we actually think of all that, wouldn't it be like trading? Hoping to get something in return for your "effort"?
Sigh.
Don't think too much.

Digress.

Movies movies movies!!!
I just figured that I had so many movies I had to watch!!! (They include movies from the past..)
I think I have to visit the video rental shop more often, and probably do more DO duties on weekends.
It wasn't that bad actually. I was DO yesterday..
I watched finished 3 shows! Not exactly.. I fell asleep while watching City by the Sea, some Robert Di Niro show. I finished the Hulk and Anger Management. Lame shows.. But entertaining none the less. Well, it helped me expand my time fully.

I have been really bored the past week. My mates have been mugging hard for their exams and I think I have spent too much time with them in the past.
I have gotten so used to their company. Too used to their company.
I've gotten so used that I actually neglect some other friends.
I rather spend quality time, not quantity time. I can practically do nothing with my mates, but still enjoy doing nothing. I can have loads of activities with my other friends, but still be bored inside, waiting to leave.
I think I'm narrowing my social circle. I seem to be forming a shield that blocks off anyone else other than my close mates.
Is this good or bad? This issue has been strangling me for some time.
Sometimes I think about what goose said regarding broadening our social circle. Is it really for the sake of companionship? Or some other ulterior motives e.g business associates?
Or is it because I really want a group of closer buds so that I can be ensured of companionship even if I age?
Sigh. Selfish me.

Just some encouragement for those who give up.

Pet Shop Boys - Love Comes Quickly

Sooner or later, this happens to everyone
To everyone

You can live your life lonely
Heavy as stone
Live your life learning
And working alone
Say this is all you want
But I don't believe that it's true
'Cause when you least expect it
Waiting round the corner for you

Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)

You can live a life of luxury
If that's what you want
Taste forbidden pleasures
Whatever you want

You can fly away to the end of the world
But where does it get you to?
'Cause just when you least expect it
Just what you least expect

Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)

I know it sounds ridiculous, but speaking from experience
It may seem romantic, and that's no defense
Love will always get to you

Sooner or later, sooner or later, this happens to everyone
To everyone

You can fly away to the end of the world
But where does it get you?

Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
(Oooh)

Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)
Love comes quickly, whatever you do
You can't stop falling (Ooh ooh)

# posted by obfuscated : 1:26:00 am  0 comments

Time for some "foot" for thought. Football!

Newcastle vs Arsenal. What an infuriating match.
I don't deny the hardwork Newcastle brought in the beginning of the match. They later on got lazier as they no longer put together good passes and just placed emphasis on long passes and pointless, or rather, mindless runs down the flangs. Newcastle can't cross for nuts!
Arsenal was rather boring for most of the game. What happened to Henry? The fatigue? Something the commentator said was rather interesting when Pires got sub-ed in. Now we see the Holy Trinity. Pires, Henry, Viera. Reyes did rather well with his efforts and skill by displacing Newcastle's defence. If they ever had one.

Oh heck. I don't think I can be a sports journalist.
But I'm good at making noise while watching the game.

Time to digress.
While watching the match at home with my dad, I thought of something frightening.
What if I were to lose all my mates in Reccos?
Indeed that was a frightening thought.
It would be equivalent to putting a bullet in my head at point blank range.
I would be so lost. I wouldn't have anybody close.
They were the only ones who stand in the way of loneliness and me.
I feel that they are more than friends.
We've gotten so used to each other sometimes we're just complacent.
I gotta remind myself that we're important to each other.
Every single one.
They are always just a phonecall away.
Like how we remind ourselves to be fillial to our parents and to honour our parents, we must also remember our bonds with our closest buds.

All the best for your studies/exams.
This might sound corny, but, friends forever guys.

The urge to post something just came erratically.

We are all "Gods" in our own individual worlds.
We can create everything within our thoughts.
The power of the mind.
But the given ability naturally comes from the giver.
That makes Him the God of Gods.

I look through my scope, looking onto my world.
But someone else is looking into His scope, looking into his world.

I am confused.

Before I prepare for the battle tomorrow, I just realised something. Again.
There're so many things science can't answer. Not that I doubt you Goose, I'm just putting some thought into this.
Already, I guess science can't really answer the question of love too.
Ok, either I'm really ignorant, with the fact that my general knowledge is weak and that it has already been proven (bravo!), or, things pertaining to natural emotions, feelings, thoughts, can't be explained(damn!).

I remember reading something about the brain. I think it's the book about EQ or Emotional Intelligence. It says stuff about the brain generating certain chemicals, injecting it into certain areas, thus giving the emotion or feeling.
So maybe I am really shallow... I guess I just slapped myself in the face.

This thought suddenly came to my mind as I was surfing.
- What exactly is love?

What a mind boggling question it is.
Do take note, holding hands, kissing, getting close, feelings for a person(whatever feeling), attraction, doesn't really depict the true meaning of that fatuous, delusive word.
What confirmation is there to tell us what love really is? Is it really just a feeling? Do you really know it when you're in love?

Some questions to bother whoever's reading. Haha.
Sorry but I am still seeking answers through my questions.
I remember a word from the movie "Passion of The Christ". They kept screaming that word other than crucify.
Veritas. (in case nobody read my previous blogs, veritas mean truth)

And the truth is, I'm tired.
Good night!

Short entry.
3 things I'm gonna talk about that happened like less then 2 hours back.

1)I saw her again. The one whom I've not seen for 10 years. Once more, I denied myself a simple hello.
Well, she didn't reply to the message I left for her in friendster... So I think it's obvious.

2) I went to M's place to pass her a CD I bought just for her. She wanted a burnt copy, so I thought why not get the original one for her? The thing is, I went down to her place just to pass it to her. Am I falling into the loop again? I hope not. The excuse I gave myself is that "it's on the way". Yah right.

3) Watched The Passion of The Christ. I give it 2 out of 5 stars. 1 bonus star for the gore and blood. Basically, just go read your bible. It's original, and it covers more detail. This show is just for sensuality's sake. The whole show is basically Jesus carrying the cross(which covers like 1/2 the whole show) to the place where he meets his death. I wonder if they're gonna come up with a sequel "The Resurrection of the Christ". What an original name for a movie! Or maybe "The Passion of the Christ 2". Ha.

Bothered bothered bothered.
Sleep.

"Veritas odit moras" or "Truth hates delay".
Got that line from a website the snake visits. www.aldaily.com
Indeed it has some interesting reads.

I amaze myself. For the past 22 years, I've hated reading. But now I just wonder why I ever hated it in the first place. There's so much to learn from a book. But it's never too late to start. It's about time I started reading rather than whining.

I want to talk about something which actually bothered me that day.
I was going to watch The Eye 2 with a fren and went to cineleisure to check out the tickets for the show. when I reached the floor that sells the tix, I saw this little booth which sold this book, which I can't really remember the name, "Understanding The Passion Of The Christ".
I hope people get this in their heads. Jesus is not a commercialised item. Neither is he a money tree. The show would be good to people who like some basic knowledge of Christ.

Another incident.
After being disappointed that cine has sold out its tix, we went to Lido.
Guess what. It was filled with a certain church's devotees. CHC. Nothing wrong with that. But isn't it a bit exaggerated? All that hype over a movie. What image are they trying to portray? Enthusiasm? Watching the show will deny them a place in hell?
I would like to speak my mind. I would love to raze that church, or rather, building to the ground.
I admit I am in no position to judge. So I'll just end here.

The Observatory - This Sad Song

This sad song will write itself
When you're gone
When there's no one else
Empty the streets of people
and you'll find yourself
the saddest song
unfolding unto itself

Hungry the hearts of people
who can never find love

This sad life lives by itself
When it's gone
no one wonders what's going on
Empty the rooms of lonely
people by themselves
The saddest lives
unfolding
searching for a meaning to carry on

Good people who can never find love
True love
for people
All their lives spent looking
for the hearts of people
who can never find love
Feed the hungriest hearts with love

This sad world
all by itself
when it's gone
so will everybody else
Empty the hearts
of people
who've never given love
to a stranger
filled with hunger in the heart

So blue, what do you do?
Without love
Feed the hungriest hearts with love

# posted by obfuscated : 5:46:00 pm  0 comments

Feeling a bit high from the alcohol consumed during happy hour in camp. Had a fair share of drinks just now and still managed to ride home.

The feeling of riding home when I'm rather high is quite exciting. I dare do stuff that I usually wouldn't do. I admit it's dangerous. But my bravery was increased ten fold or more. It is stupid. I know. But the feeling of being free to do whatever I want is good. I feel the freedom I never feel before. Mind you, I don't drink much often. And I am not that good a drinker too. Jimmy and the rest kept stressing me with drinks. Even my boss had a share in the stress. Damn. Thinking of Eric while drinking. I bet Jimmy felt the same way too. We spoke of him while having some drinks. We miss you Eric. Sigh.

Was feeling rather weird while talking to the rest just now. The fake laughter I produced once in a while. The fake interest in their topics. I know I've gotta do this once in a while because of the environment that I work in. Sounds rather sad. Hmm.. Well, I've got free food and drink. Who cares.

Asked M to the Newpaper Big Walk. Hope she goes with me. We talk more during walks. Weird.
Now I'm wondering if she'll go shopping with me tomorrow for S's present. S's bday is coming soon. Better do something about it quick. And also I'd have a chance to see M tomorrow. hahahaahah. Kill me Timmy boy. And to think I told you all that last time. But mine is a different case!

Oh man... Talking loads of nonsense right now. Must be the alcohol working. Better go sleep. Must work tomorrow. Till tomorrow!!!! Tomorrow will be a better day! Man U will whack the living day lights out of Arsenal!!!

Just spent money. Though not much, but I felt the pinch. Call me stingy, or poor. However you put it.
Bought some T-shirts with logos from our childhoods. Remember Transformers or Thundercats? Yes. I bought those. =)
Got some socks too.
Headed for home after some so called shopping. I just wanted to use up my vouchers before they expire. But guess what? They expire next year... *grumbles*
The stuff I want would only be available at the end of the week, so I left without buying anything from there. But so as not to waste my trip to Queensway and to create a fruitful trip, I bought the T-shirts and the socks. How nice of me =)
Helppp I must not spend anymore till the 10th!!! I must discipline myself! For my future!
Though money is not that important to me(that's why people around me see me spending it like water in the past), it is a must in this place we've created. I sadly bow to it's hold on the everything around me. If not for money, would I have the education to help develop my thoughts and mentality? Without money, would I have food to sustain me for today, tomorrow, next week? It has "created" everything around us. Look around you. What has money not lay it's hands on? I would love to say that money can never buy me love nor a good heart. But is it involved in the process of gaining a good heart? Lasting love?
I find it difficult to say it out loud that money isn't involved in the above mentioned.
I guess the only thing I can say now is that I use it wisely. That it's used to make me a better person, or to nourish myself with knowledge that would make me wise. Wise enough to know where money can't grip.

I should urge myself everyday to think more, to ask more. To climb to greater heights of the rabbit's fur.
I want to know what is important, truly important to us. To find out what evidence is there to prove that our existance is needed. To unravel the mystery of the human soul.
I just want to know more. I want to realise the fact that knowledge is power.

I. Everything revolves around I. Maybe I should change to WE. I should stop being selfish and stop thinking about myself.