Monday, March 15, 2004
Currently feeling alone. The wanting to do something is strong now. I can't find anything to do! I tried asking xw for a movie, the butterfly effect, to be exact, but he has a match in NTU! argh.. I think I need more friends. Close friends. And available. Maybe that explains the wanting for a girlfriend that so many people experiance. Seems that way from the snake's blog. The longing for companionship. We as humans can never be alone. We need company. Not anybody's company, but someone who is close to us, someone we can relate to. I believe a girlfriend can provide that, but friends still can make up for that. Temporary. So for now I guess I can live without one. Unless all my friends around me just vaporize into thin air. Oh yah, don't forget we have our family as well.
Manchester United Football Club. The fall of a giant. The higher you climb, the lower you fall. Disappointment at it's peak! That's how I'm feeling! My dad told me the final score in the morning as I couldn't finish the match last night. I left at 3-1. Couldn't take the shame. 4-1 was the final score. I was shocked. Good bye MU. I won't forget the glory you left behind.
M asked me to ice-skating yesterday! I was in surprised! It was a rarity that she would ask me out. She called on a Saturday evening for the next day itself. Guess what? I didn't want to go. Weird isn't it? For people who knows what's happening, they would say "Are you crazy?! Isn't this what you want?!?!" No. This is not what I want. I don't like ice-skating. I will no longer do things I dislike for someone else. I will do things for myself and for people whom I think are worth it. Not that she's not worth it.. I just don't like ice-skating!
Then came Sunday where I told her I was tired, the usual answer she used to give me, and whether I could pass. She said she wanted me to go as her other 2 friends were a couple. So.. I said OK. I SAID OK. I went home, watched LOTR and slept, waiting for her to call me.
It was postponed.
To speak the truth, I was quite glad. I was really tired and not interested! If it were a movie, I'd gladly fly to the place to watch it. I'm a movie lover mind you! And of course, I love the opposite sex just as much. So it would be a good combination, movies and girls.
Work work work. I want to ORD. Why does all the shit happen to me? But I just gotta do it. No point complaining. I've gotta get things done even if shit happens. Do your best!
I need money. I hope it falls from the sky. This world is so fucked up. Everything's about money. Money this, money that. I remember when I was much younger, I kept asking myself about the need of money. Why did men create money? Why can't everybody just work and supply? Of course I told myself later that people would be lazy as there wasn't anything to work for. Then came another question. Don't people supply to their children for free as they love them? Why can't everyone in the world just love each other and help each other out? If we're hungry, those with food will provide. Basic necessities are some of the things that certain individuals don't even have. I spoke about balance in my last post. Is there a balance between those in poverty and those with immense wealth? The difference is ridiculous. People dying from hunger, people thinking getting money to study (me), and people having everything in the world (i.e. Lambourgini Diablo, without a license, and only 18). I admit, I am jealous at a certain extent. But is it right? I question myself but can't find an answer. Somehow I feel that there is a flaw, a problem, that needs to be solved, but no one bothers, or no one knows how. I don't know how. I am just a kid.
I emphasise the point again. I am no saint. The above is just food for thought. I don't donate all my money to charity. I still use it to on toto, smokes, and women. I'm only human.
Manchester United Football Club. The fall of a giant. The higher you climb, the lower you fall. Disappointment at it's peak! That's how I'm feeling! My dad told me the final score in the morning as I couldn't finish the match last night. I left at 3-1. Couldn't take the shame. 4-1 was the final score. I was shocked. Good bye MU. I won't forget the glory you left behind.
M asked me to ice-skating yesterday! I was in surprised! It was a rarity that she would ask me out. She called on a Saturday evening for the next day itself. Guess what? I didn't want to go. Weird isn't it? For people who knows what's happening, they would say "Are you crazy?! Isn't this what you want?!?!" No. This is not what I want. I don't like ice-skating. I will no longer do things I dislike for someone else. I will do things for myself and for people whom I think are worth it. Not that she's not worth it.. I just don't like ice-skating!
Then came Sunday where I told her I was tired, the usual answer she used to give me, and whether I could pass. She said she wanted me to go as her other 2 friends were a couple. So.. I said OK. I SAID OK. I went home, watched LOTR and slept, waiting for her to call me.
It was postponed.
To speak the truth, I was quite glad. I was really tired and not interested! If it were a movie, I'd gladly fly to the place to watch it. I'm a movie lover mind you! And of course, I love the opposite sex just as much. So it would be a good combination, movies and girls.
Work work work. I want to ORD. Why does all the shit happen to me? But I just gotta do it. No point complaining. I've gotta get things done even if shit happens. Do your best!
I need money. I hope it falls from the sky. This world is so fucked up. Everything's about money. Money this, money that. I remember when I was much younger, I kept asking myself about the need of money. Why did men create money? Why can't everybody just work and supply? Of course I told myself later that people would be lazy as there wasn't anything to work for. Then came another question. Don't people supply to their children for free as they love them? Why can't everyone in the world just love each other and help each other out? If we're hungry, those with food will provide. Basic necessities are some of the things that certain individuals don't even have. I spoke about balance in my last post. Is there a balance between those in poverty and those with immense wealth? The difference is ridiculous. People dying from hunger, people thinking getting money to study (me), and people having everything in the world (i.e. Lambourgini Diablo, without a license, and only 18). I admit, I am jealous at a certain extent. But is it right? I question myself but can't find an answer. Somehow I feel that there is a flaw, a problem, that needs to be solved, but no one bothers, or no one knows how. I don't know how. I am just a kid.
I emphasise the point again. I am no saint. The above is just food for thought. I don't donate all my money to charity. I still use it to on toto, smokes, and women. I'm only human.
