Monday, February 09, 2004
Have you ever had boredom at its peak where you just lie in bed staring into space, not knowing what to do for hours... I just had that.
I find myself hard to entertain. Basically, I can't find anything I like to entertain myself with. I used to like playing the guitar, but now it resides in a corner, all alone and screaming for attention, just like me. I don't read, I TRY watching television, I can't find anything to surf, I got no VCDs to watch, I don't talk on the phone, I don't play games. What can I do?
Usually I just get people to keep me company, even if it means doing nothing. They do nothing with me. But it's just as hard finding people to keep you company... Everyone's busy with their own lifestyle. I am busy with my lifestyle as well... which is emptiness.
What to do, what to do, what to do.. Can someone give me an answer? What can actually occupy most of my time? It would be a bonus if that time wouldn't be wasted. Maybe I have the answer... And I'm in the midst of it right now.. ;)
Oh well. Something seems to be bothering me... Knowing that someone seems to be ignoring you is a very bothersome thought. It's like a fly, you want to shoo it away, but it just keeps pestering.
I've been controlling myself from any form of contact. I know that she wouldn't like that... So since she'd be happy without me pestering, I would not want to be that same fly. I would control.... I'm in control.. Crap. We must always know our limits. NEVER NEVER push the limit..
Enough said.
I find myself hard to entertain. Basically, I can't find anything I like to entertain myself with. I used to like playing the guitar, but now it resides in a corner, all alone and screaming for attention, just like me. I don't read, I TRY watching television, I can't find anything to surf, I got no VCDs to watch, I don't talk on the phone, I don't play games. What can I do?
Usually I just get people to keep me company, even if it means doing nothing. They do nothing with me. But it's just as hard finding people to keep you company... Everyone's busy with their own lifestyle. I am busy with my lifestyle as well... which is emptiness.
What to do, what to do, what to do.. Can someone give me an answer? What can actually occupy most of my time? It would be a bonus if that time wouldn't be wasted. Maybe I have the answer... And I'm in the midst of it right now.. ;)
Oh well. Something seems to be bothering me... Knowing that someone seems to be ignoring you is a very bothersome thought. It's like a fly, you want to shoo it away, but it just keeps pestering.
I've been controlling myself from any form of contact. I know that she wouldn't like that... So since she'd be happy without me pestering, I would not want to be that same fly. I would control.... I'm in control.. Crap. We must always know our limits. NEVER NEVER push the limit..
Enough said.
