wasted mind, wasted thoughts

On Your Own

It's about time
I've come to terms with myself
I've been lost for so long
Dragged along with the hands of time

(On your own) Please stand up
(On your own) Make the decisions
Oppurtunities
they don't last for so long
While they're there
Reach out and grasp
On your own
On your own

Being a lost soul
Without a mind of my own
Drifting for so long
Floating along in the passage of time

No one will be there to save you
No one will be there to guide you
You've gotta finish what you've started
Complete the race of time

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I'm getting really worried.
My song explains all.
I got so worried that I got inspired to write those lyrics.
I've written down in my little notebook what worries me as well.

Educational Worries/Paths to choose

• Lasalle Music Technology Course ($14K/yr !!!!!!!!!!!)
• Mass Comm @ MDIS or anywhere else
• Arts & Soci + NIE (TEACH)
• IT Degree @ anywhere

 

• visit www.mita.gov.sg
• visit Lasalle @ kallang
• visit NIE/MOE website
• visit MDIS HQ

These are exactly the things I've written down.
And they worry me.
Where do I find the money to study?
Is everything too late with my age?
While buying rice home for my mum to prepare dinner, I decided to go get a $1 toto quickpick, thinking that it would get me money should I win.
Alas, they sold out(according to what the aunty told me).
It must be God's will.
May God bless those with dreams.

Good day to everybody.
Blogger is not down, but my brain is.
I don't think I'll be touching blogspot for some time.
Till the day I find inspiration and aspiration.

Oh, KL was FANTASTIC.
Till then.

Already can't wait to leave.
To leave this place.
But no matter where I go, it's always the same.
Anywhere, everywhere.

I'm going KL tomorrow afternoon!
Shopping, eating, shopping, eating. (Literally translated from that ad that won't leave your head)
Actually the main highlight is this gig that we'd be attending.
Can't wait to watch Tiramisu live.
Always refreshing, ever new.
I hope I've got time to pack.
It'd be so rush to return from half day's work and get to a 2pm bus.

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I'm getting poorer.
I don't understand why.
It seems I never have spare cash with me.
I wonder what I'm going to survive on in the future.
Furthermore, I've got my studies to worry about.
I've just added another option into my list of choices to choose from.
But it is far to expensive.
I've already wasted my govt. grant on my crap diploma, there isn't a second chance.
It seems like I'm being pushed by circumstances.
Is money really the factor that welds everything together?
To make things work?
I fear the day I lust.
The lust for money.

All pictures were kindly taken from my brother and greatly used by me without his permission.
More to come once I find out he's done with uploading them..
Sigh, post-baybeats syndrome creeping in.
I'm already missing it.
Oh yah. Out with my wisdom teeth and only 2 days of MC.  2 days.
Oh what the heck.

Buddhistson from Japan

The Observatory at Baybeats 2004

Baybeats is over.
Enjoyed it totally.
Everyday was enjoyable.
 
Got to hear many different genres of music live with a splendid backdrop, consisting of the river, the merlion, and the urban jungle.
All while the sun is up and bright, till it sets.
At sunset, the sea of gold, the soothing rays of orange, all blending in with the variety of instruments, laid out, ready to showcase their talent.
The chillout stage has been fantastic.
Friday, the likes of Phorous and Sgt Weener Arms.
Saturday, Telebury and The Observatory.
Sunday, Typewriter, Moods and Astreal.
 
The smashing of bodies.
The moving in of policemen and huge security personel.
People surfing to the waves of rocking music.
Sound waves moving at exceeding speeds.
The Areana produced outstanding foreign and local talents.
Friday, they were ok.
Saturday, Buddhiston and Whence He came
Sunday, MUZE, Electrico, and Last Days of April.
 
I've just mentioned some of my personal favourites.
I already can't wait for the weekend where I would gather more band experiance and exposure with the KL Trip.
Though I don't know my brother's friends well, I do not care and would leech to them because I'd love take a break from Singapore.
I want to experiance the crowds in KL and their gigs.
 
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I think music is really a must for me.
I'd be dead in no time if it were to leave me.
It's also a good divertion from whatever I would be troubled with.
The tunes would sweep me off my feet and the rhythm would groove my nerves.
If you closed your eyes and listen, you'd find yourself in a place.
A place where you can find solace and solitude.
A place filled with joy and sadness, and all the other emotions that make us human.
 
I've rekindled my lost love. I found my first love.
My love for music.

Check it out.

Baybeats 2004 - Great local bands & international bands performing live at the esplanade. Admission FREE.

Singapore Heritage Festival 2004 - Not really interested, but they are showing short films and some local shows like Eating Air.

Leaving for JB within the hour.

I'm starting to understand the notions that xw placed in my head.
With regards to different perspectives seen from different people.
How we should go know more.
How we should learn to appreciate.
I hope I got my facts right.

Finished reading "The 5 people you meet in heaven" by Mitch Abloom.
It sort of relates to the above topic.
We can't just look at one point.
Everything is linked, even if we might not know why, or how.

I wonder if I feel like my normal self.
Anyway, what is my normal self?

BJ Thomas - Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turnin' red
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free
Nothin's worryin' me

Got this from the shakespear sonnet a day mailing list.

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LVII.

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
I have no precious time at all to spend,
Nor services to do, till you require.
Nor dare I chide the world-without-end hour
Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you,
Nor think the bitterness of absence sour
When you have bid your servant once adieu;
Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought
Save, where you are how happy you make those.
So true a fool is love that in your will,
Though you do any thing, he thinks no ill.

I'm feeling rather dissed from the alcohol from happy hour.
I'm wondering how I actually managed to ride home after each one.
But well, thank God for self control.

I've been thinking a lot lately.
About a lot of things.
Well, actually, mainly on one area.
But that, I'd rather keep to myself.
Some things you just can't say too much.
All I'd say is, treasure those close to you.
Do not let go.

---------------------

I've bought the tickets to The Observatory this Friday.
4 in total.
Me, M, Y, and P would be going.
Can't wait.
Can't wait to see The Observatory perform live with some new songs.
Hope they'd enjoy it as well.

---------------------

Still rather dissed by the alcohol.
To sleep.
Oh yah, wisdom tooth extraction on the 16th!
And when am I going for my blood donation??
Hmm....

This is fuck.
I wrote so much but an internal server error page appeared and now they expect me to rewrite everything.
Oh fuck it.

One word sums it all.
Despair
1)To lose all hope
2)To be overcome by a sense of futility or defeat.

Ah.. At last Euro is over.
I can blog again.
I wanted to commemorate the exit of Holland from the competition.
And with the defeat of Portugal, naturally a sore-loser like me would be glad with Greece winning.

Well, the week went absolutely plain.
I hope my life is going back to its simple ways.
No more worries, no more thoughts stuck in the head, no more questions unanswered.
I hope.

My social circle is narrowing up.
It was huge.
Now it is quite small.
Not that I am complaining, but I can count the number of people I mix with nowadays.
They are none other then my bosom dudes.
There's only one thing I fear.
If they were to leave me, I guess I'd be left with no one else.
I remember speaking to Tim regarding this subject of our own circle narrowing up.
Are we taking ourselves for granted?
Just because we, as close friends, know each other so well that we know they wouldn't mind if we did certain things.
As close friends, all the more we should think about each others feelings, rather than to shove it aside.
Somethings we've gotta iron it out, we gotta iron it out.
We should make way for one another.
We should care for one another
If we don't think about all these issues, are we friends only because each of us have our uses? And those who are useless get left out?

I've thought about certain things that I've done in the past that fits into the picture I just painted above.
And I've thought about certain things that my friends have done as well.
I think if we all are really close as we deem ourselves to be, we outta take a step forward and look closely at this relationship we call friendship.
All of us are guilty.
It's just that we haven't realise what we have done wrong, and still think we are always right.

Let's just take a moment and think about it.
No finger pointing, or no names called.