wasted mind, wasted thoughts

"You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does"

Gosh. This line hit me right smack in the face.

The Smiths - How Soon Is Now?
I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and heir
of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

I am the son
and the heir
of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and the heir
of nothing in particular

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

There's a club if you'd like to go
you could meet somebody who really loves you
so you go, and you stand on your own
and you leave on your own
and you go home, and you cry
and you want to die

When you say it's gonna happen "now"
well, when exactly do you mean?
see I've already waited too long
and all my hope is gone

You shut your mouth
how can you say
I go about things the wrong way
I am human and I need to be loved
just like everybody else does

Ah..... Another short film. But i've yet to do something my own. I need to write something one day. I must.

The whole of April seem scary. The whole month is booked and other stuff seem to come in and try to squeeze into any available spot for the month. Argh. I need an organiser. Oh, check out the artshouse website. They're showing Singapore Ga Ga, Gozu, Blue Velvet and Ring of Fury.
Guess what month they're screened? APRIL!
Guess when the Singapore Intl Film Fest is? APRIL!
April is such a busy month.
No prizes for people who can guess when the fsv graduates screen their works.
Sigh. I want to go.
It's always either money or everything else. It seems money always have the better appeal.

Wow. The mosaic music fest has come to an end.
I really loved this year's mosaic. You can see the amount of effort put in from everyone. I especially loved the blues, jazz, and salsa night. And it was really great to see the musicians on stage enjoying themselves on stage. It really makes my hair stand. You can feel the amount of energy it gives the crowd when the performer really gets into his 'thing', making the crowd groove. I must add on, that on salsa night, it was the FIRST time that I've seen an entire crowd grooving. EVERYONE. The aunty's, uncles, kids, foreigners, SINGAPOREANS, everyone! Even the elderly moved a bit. It was fantastic. You could really feel the magic in the air. BUT I must mention that once upon a time, when I was at a local gig, I saw the ushers stopping people from grooving at our very lovely outdoor theater, the exact same place where I saw the crowd grooving to with salsa. Hmmm, weird huh? Millions of people were taking pictures with FLASH, but I remember myself being stopped by the ushers during a certain local gig by a local band. Hmmm, weird huh? Let us wait and see.
I must admit that I had a great time at the mosaic music festival though most of the time I was bored stiff at work. Yes, I was working there. Got to know new friends whom are as nonsensical as me, and as crude as me. Of course, urm, just as hum sup as me. You can't blame us when there's so much to see at the esplanade.

Now I've got less then 3 weeks to settle my submission for my study grant for this year. After failing in getting that grant last year, I guess I should be more experianced in bullshitting my way through this year. Gosh, it's gonna be so bloody rush, and I have to discipline myself to do it. Argh!

Oh my goodness. I've just been to one of the best gigs in my life so far.
Kings of Convenience.
Any of you out there would have been mesmerised by their enchanting voices and surreal acoustics.
The moment they started, I got so attached to their singing and playing I froze in my seat.
From Norway, Erland and Eirik brought live acoustic sounds with just their voices, two guitars, and their splendid personality.
No superstar attitude, no diva wannabes, but they came as friends.
They joke, make fun of latecomers, danced, and pulled the audience onto stage, much to the horror of the Esplanade staff.
It was great fun.
Though the music was soft and soothing, you wouldn't have thought they'd be such hearty jokers on stage.
People, watch out for Kings of Convenience.
Music makes life.

Ok, with KoC, it ends my run of gigs to go for.
Beyond, Dream Theater, Franz Ferdinand, Kings of Convenience.
How I wish I can go for Placebo. Sigh.

ARGH!
Great revelations!
The epitome of all shocks!
I'm still left in a trance!

Digress.
Another offer of my fav job with good pay I have to turn down, for the damn $28 a day job which really suck, under the hot sun and more. NO MORE MAN! I hate it when I'm not being appreciated for the things I do for you!

Had quite an enjoyable day today. Woke up, and went to have a final check up on my eyes. The final outcome? I have slight aestig (however you spell it) in both my eyes, but so minor, it can be overlooked. He asked if I wanted glasses, but I firmly said NO, which he said was alright. The eye healed well, which should be a good thing for shu, and for me. They are my rice bowl. Without them, how could I be a DP?

Went to the IT fair with Yap. Found out that sex sells almost ANYTHING. Every booth had a chick skimply dressed. Hmmm... Why? I wonder. After the fair, which was freaking huge, we went on to this preview of the new panasonic HDV. It's ok. I don't want to talk to much. Anyway, had a jolly good time getting to know more people, and getting to know those I know better. What shocked me was that Lucas, the DP for maid, actually still recognises me! We even had a small chat about cam stuff and lighting, and the ever going battle between digital video vs film (FILM ALWAYS WINS LAH!). Of course, beer had a part to play with the enjoyment. Everyone had quite enough to drink, and went home tipsy. Yeah!

I want freelance jobs. Argh. Why do I have to work for N*kia... I actually have to turn down a $200 job for a $28. What the hell!?

I feel the weight on my shoulders getting lighter and lighter as the days get closer. I am so in need of rest. REAL rest. To do the things I want, to appreciate what's out there once more, to spend time with the people I love, and lastly, to spend time alone. I almost did that yesterday (which happens to be my first free weekend after god knows how long) till I went out to meet the beast himself, Tim. Shopping at DIY shops are actually quite interesting. DIY shops as in the real DIY shops with tools and stuff. I never knew that so much cool stuff actually exists. I am aiming for a Leatherman for my work. And a soldering gun. And a small light. And some velcro. Argh, too much stuff, too little money.

Before I started feeling bored at home, thus the DIY shopping and soccer watching, I actually watched TV the whole day. Channel surfing between Discovery, Nat Geo, Animal Planet, an indian movie, MTV and the usual Channel 8 and U (yes I know.. shoot me). I have never watched TV in such a long seating for a VERY long time. In fact, I've not watched TV for ages (years?). I never knew manta rays didn't have stings. I never knew morray (spelling?) eels didn't have stings either. I never knew certain sharks could breed with their eggs detached out of their bodies on rods. Turtles could live up to 200 years. Discovery rocks.

Played soccer at last with my buds after like 3 months. WOW. It feels great to exercise my legs again, to smell the grass in the open, to feel the sun on my skin (other then sun on my skin from production, it's a totally different experiance), and to feel the ball on my feet. It was a first playing left back as well. Brotherly bonding with a common topic is highly encouraged. You guys know what topic that is.

I intend to go on a short holiday either end march or april. Anyone thinking of that too? (Low budget)