wasted mind, wasted thoughts

The Observatory - Sea Of Doubts

no one heeds a warning
no one needs a warning
while their conscience goes a-sailing up
the river life is giving up
an intermittent howling
while your soul is prowling for
a conscience life is giving out
a conscious lie unfolding out

i know he's using me

all the leaves are burning
all the leads are turning up
like dead-end streets and roundabouts
cast across the sea of doubts
my confidence is waning
my confidence is fading from
the lives they have been selling out
the lies they have been handing out

i know he's using me
i know she's using me

no one has a way in
no one has a way to lift the burden life has given us
for better or the very worse
no one gives a howling
no one gives a flying fuck
if this is just the way it is
then this will be the way it is

i know he's using me

blank.
I feel so lost.
I hate being poor, not having a car, not having a career. I can't provide. I will always be a burden.
Even if friends tell me that I'm still young, and I'm still schooling, my future looks bleak. I will never be rich, drive a car, nor have an advancing career.
Yes, welcome to the life of a loser.

The Cranberries - Linger
If you, if you could return
Don’t let it burn, don’t let it fade
I’m sure I’m not being rude
But it’s just your attitude
It’s tearing me apart
It’s ruining everything
And I swore, I swore I would be true
And honey so did you
So why were you holding her hand
Is that the way we stand
Were you lying all the time
Was it just a game to you

But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Oh, I thought the world of you
I thought nothing could go wrong
But I was wrong
I was wrong
If you, if you could get by
Trying not to lie
Things wouldn’t be so confused
And I wouldn’t feel so used
But you always really knew
I just wanna be with you

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to. do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

And I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger

Elvis Presley - Always On My Mind
Maybe I didn’t treat you
Quite as good as I should have
Maybe I didn’t love you
Quite as often as I could have
Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Maybe I didn’t hold you
All those lonely, lonely times
And I guess I never told you
I’m so happy that you’re mine
If I make you feel second best
Girl, I’m sorry I was blind

You were always on my mind
You were always on my mind

Tell me, tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died
Give me, give me one more chance
To keep you satisfied, satisfied

Little things I should have said and done
I just never took the time
You were always on my mind
You are always on my mind
You are always on my mind

Cool. School's reopening AT LAST. Have been waiting for the start of next sem since holidays started. Well, partially actually. True, I worked with 4 different productions during the holidays, but still, I want to learn more. I miss handling the camera. On the other hand, I learnt lots from the jobs I did. Though under paid, I hope the learning process makes up for it. I seriously learnt plenty, and knew many people. But, I seemed to have exhausted myself as I feel lethargic even on my off days (if any). Even now that I've completed all my jobs, though there's one on Fri which I don't think count, I still feel the fatigue wearing me out. I sleep 4 to 5 hours each day, and those who know me know I LOVE sleep. I adore lazing around.

To inaugurate my first time being a grip, I ate bak kut mee downed with a bottle at my all time favourite kopi place, kim san leng. Eating alone actually allows you to study your surroundings. Alcohol prolongs the process. As I visit this extreme place of hipness on a regular basis, I notice quite a number or familiar faces. One of those that stand out is this little girl who's always there with her dog, and her dad who smokes and drinks there. I can't help but wonder what would a little girl be doing late at night with her dad at a kopi tiam? And a little dog? But the thing is she looks like a really smart little girl and definately matured mentally for her age. There're many other interesting folks in the world of kim san leng. To find out more, call me for a drink. I'm always available.

At last. A chance to sit down with some peace and quiet, and type this entry on koobi as my bro's PC has crashed after serving us well for close to 4 years.
Been extremely busy with this 'Going Straits'. I'll appear on episode 8 as a waiter as well. If you read from my previous entry, I also cameo as this guy from the 50s. Watch Edwin in action! Laugh all you want.
Today at a location during shoot, this person selling slimming products actually approached me. Guess how I felt? What the @#%! Of all people, me! I know my beer belly is really popping out, but I've already tried my best to keep it under concealment. I can't wear my small tshirts anymore. Sigh. And my face has been erupting none stop ever since I've been on this production. I am so doomed. Now I know how God grants you the gift of celibacy. He gives you acne, and bad physique, and uses these two obstacles to test your faith. I give up! Let me go!!!

Beyond concert this saturday. Can't wait. 5th row from the front, Ah Paul's side of the stage. I do think this IS the final concert, as what they always say. And I hope they won't disappoint this time, as they did with their Hong Kong one I went to.

Production in a few hours time. I'd better sleep more or else my whole face would be a boil with nostrils.

It's been a tiring week. Have been on shoot for this local drama that's going to be air-ed on arts central called 'Going Straits'. Go catch it if you have the time as I cameoed in one of the episodes as someone from the 50s. Not as an extra where you have to spot me, but as someone prominent. HAHA! I forgot if it's episode 11 or something.. But just catch it, the history lesson quite interesting, as they cover stuff from peranakan history and things like that.

Went for a small gig in a tiny constraint room at penisula. The Observatory played a beautiful acoustic set which i really enjoyed. As the place was tiny and well enclosed, the sounds was rather clear, so I could hear every instrument well whenever they come in. Sweet. I so love their music, especially when the song writing comes from Leslie Low. He should be a Singapore hero, or given an award or something. But of course I'm not forgetting the rest of the band, as credit should be given to them too for playing such beautiful music on their own individual instruments and for gelling together well. Go visit them at www.theobservatory.com.sg. Their latest album is now out at all popular music shops. Their album cover so rocks. Buy it to find out for yourself.

Ok, that's all for now. Tomorrow will be back to work again.. Super shag job. Hope this holiday ends soon. I want to go back to school.

Just updated writewrite. Long time since I updated I guess, so I did a 3 hit combo. I find a lack of thought to write nowadays. Even if I do, I just scrap of bits and pieces from my head from one event, leading to another, then another. Sounds like a sureallistic film, where the film maker just blots down spontaneous thoughts and puts them on the big screen. Think 2 dead donkeys being dragged on a piano by a man. Do not attempt to think of the logic or the symbolism behind it. It's just spontan thoughts.

I'm going to a production house tomorrow to try out this PA job that I was offered. Here's the catch. Everyone, be warned, the next line might throw you off your seat. They are paying me $600 per month. WHAT THE HELL RIGHT? Even macdonalds pays more than that! So why the hell do I still wanna do it? To meet people in the industry, to gain exposure, and of course to do something I love. At the expense of my pay. Argh. I will get more details of the job and if all goes well, I'll be that slave.
Basically, I just want to keep myself busy. If I have more free time, my thoughts will tend to wander, which is when I get my inspiration for writewrite, and when I tend to think of sad stuff. So keeping busy is good.
Now, off to keep myself busy with the shit load of anime the hair lent me.