Saturday, April 30, 2005
Wait a min.. I thought I was pissed off and stuff a while ago.
Now I'm not?
Call me a mood swinger. I DON'T CARE, I'M HAPPY!
Now I'm not?
Call me a mood swinger. I DON'T CARE, I'M HAPPY!
I'm so happy!
I failed my driving AGAIN, but still am happy.
Happy to find a friend I thought lost.
Happy that things are different as compared to before.
Speaking of driving, I was so damn confident i passed, that i was smiling all the way till the damn old fogey broke the news to me that I failed.
That was when the smile turned into a stoned-out unbelieving face.
But still was waiting in anticipation for friend presumably lost.
So glad so glad so glad.
=) =) =)
I'm so glad, it still brings a smile to my face when I think about it.
And that was yesterday!
=) =) =)
So glad so glad so glad.
I failed my driving AGAIN, but still am happy.
Happy to find a friend I thought lost.
Happy that things are different as compared to before.
Speaking of driving, I was so damn confident i passed, that i was smiling all the way till the damn old fogey broke the news to me that I failed.
That was when the smile turned into a stoned-out unbelieving face.
But still was waiting in anticipation for friend presumably lost.
So glad so glad so glad.
=) =) =)
I'm so glad, it still brings a smile to my face when I think about it.
And that was yesterday!
=) =) =)
So glad so glad so glad.
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Bus rides are lovely, but not when you're tired and moody after work.
The rude masses you've gotta face, the bad breaths you inhale, the ill-mannered singaporean, the knocks you get when people get lazy to even say EXCUSE ME.
On the bus home, exhausted and starved, I was thinking about how stagnant life can be if I get a 'stable' job.
I actually do the same thing everyday. (well, not really, but you get the point)
I was thinking about the things I think about daily and try to picture it with life on a whole.
I worry about the future, about school, about work, about money, about women, about..........
Is life just about the future, and how we try to make it secure?
It's too tiresome to live with these things to worry about all the time.
I want to live a life which doesn't require any worrying.
Who doesn't?
Actually it's just the money situation that makes me think that life sucks.
If I had money, I wouldn't be cursing and swearing at whatever's above me for putting me here.
I think another reason for my ranting about how shitty things are is partly due to the fact that my fellow peers are all way better off, compared to me, the ultimate loser.
Yes, yes, I know people in Africa have nothing to eat, kids are made to hold guns at a young age, bombs are killing hundreds, and my problems are only a fraction of the shit people are going through.
But, it's still MY OWN fucking problems that I'm worried about. And I can't do shit to stop all the bad things in the world from happening. So too bad.
I met my mates from OCS whom I've not seen for eons, and am really glad to meet them.
The only part that made me feel like crap was when we were talking about how each one of us were getting along in society.
They each have a good job, good pay, have girlfriends, and some were driving their own cars.
Me? Big bum, crap job, loser, penniless, womanless, car-less, who only knows how to spend his money on movies, CDs, fags, and alcohol.
Digress.
And while I was sitting on the bus, thinking about how bad the situation can be for me in life, a motherfucker sitting behind me kept kicking my chair. And I meant KEPT kicking and shifting about.
Being a normal Singaporean who doesn't usually voice his opinions, I kept quiet and curse beneath my breath.
I changed seats after a while, as I couldn't take it with him kicking while I'm getting emo and stuff.
Moving on with being penniless and yada yada, we were supposed to go prata, so I was thinking $12 would be enough for the prata and the next day's meal, being the poor guy I usually am.
But a last min change made us go somewhere different, which means $12 would only be enough for entry to use the toilet.
Knowing that I was poor, my friends paid for everything, making me feel worse about my current situation, being a bum and all.
I think that's all for now.
I think I just said too much.
Sorry for the vulgarities and all, but I don't really give a fuck.
I'm nice on a good day.
I know complaining won't get me anywhere, but I just want to find an avenue to release the crap in my wrecked head.
Sigh.
The rude masses you've gotta face, the bad breaths you inhale, the ill-mannered singaporean, the knocks you get when people get lazy to even say EXCUSE ME.
On the bus home, exhausted and starved, I was thinking about how stagnant life can be if I get a 'stable' job.
I actually do the same thing everyday. (well, not really, but you get the point)
I was thinking about the things I think about daily and try to picture it with life on a whole.
I worry about the future, about school, about work, about money, about women, about..........
Is life just about the future, and how we try to make it secure?
It's too tiresome to live with these things to worry about all the time.
I want to live a life which doesn't require any worrying.
Who doesn't?
Actually it's just the money situation that makes me think that life sucks.
If I had money, I wouldn't be cursing and swearing at whatever's above me for putting me here.
I think another reason for my ranting about how shitty things are is partly due to the fact that my fellow peers are all way better off, compared to me, the ultimate loser.
Yes, yes, I know people in Africa have nothing to eat, kids are made to hold guns at a young age, bombs are killing hundreds, and my problems are only a fraction of the shit people are going through.
But, it's still MY OWN fucking problems that I'm worried about. And I can't do shit to stop all the bad things in the world from happening. So too bad.
I met my mates from OCS whom I've not seen for eons, and am really glad to meet them.
The only part that made me feel like crap was when we were talking about how each one of us were getting along in society.
They each have a good job, good pay, have girlfriends, and some were driving their own cars.
Me? Big bum, crap job, loser, penniless, womanless, car-less, who only knows how to spend his money on movies, CDs, fags, and alcohol.
Digress.
And while I was sitting on the bus, thinking about how bad the situation can be for me in life, a motherfucker sitting behind me kept kicking my chair. And I meant KEPT kicking and shifting about.
Being a normal Singaporean who doesn't usually voice his opinions, I kept quiet and curse beneath my breath.
I changed seats after a while, as I couldn't take it with him kicking while I'm getting emo and stuff.
Moving on with being penniless and yada yada, we were supposed to go prata, so I was thinking $12 would be enough for the prata and the next day's meal, being the poor guy I usually am.
But a last min change made us go somewhere different, which means $12 would only be enough for entry to use the toilet.
Knowing that I was poor, my friends paid for everything, making me feel worse about my current situation, being a bum and all.
I think that's all for now.
I think I just said too much.
Sorry for the vulgarities and all, but I don't really give a fuck.
I'm nice on a good day.
I know complaining won't get me anywhere, but I just want to find an avenue to release the crap in my wrecked head.
Sigh.
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
Just woke up on an off day.
Don't feel so good.
This line kept running through my head with the songs of Tori Amos playing in the background. (Thanks for the songs wendy)
You decide what you want to find, don't ask me what it is, ask yourself.
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
When will I actually find?
Just woke up on an off day.
Don't feel so good.
This line kept running through my head with the songs of Tori Amos playing in the background. (Thanks for the songs wendy)
You decide what you want to find, don't ask me what it is, ask yourself.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
It is here.
The Singapore International Film Festival (aka SIFF).
This year, only 5 shows due to budget, and extreme hatred for SISTEC.
Will be watching Tarnation, En Route to Baghdad, 4th World War, Yasmin, and Tokyo Noir.
Hope I make excellent choices with these films or else I will be one sad man.
Caught the short film finalist for SIFF just now.
Great stuff.
I'm rooting for either Family Portrait or Shout to win best short.
Dai Pau deserves an audience award for it's humour.
I really love my film addiction.
The more films I watch, the more enriched I feel, the more knowledgable I feel.
Especially with 'after film' critics with friends, the love grows even deeper.
While resting in between the SIFF shorts and heading on for the 2nd S'pore short cuts, we found this place at Shaw building that's clearing it's stock for CDs.
Being me, I obviously did my share in aiding the music industry's economical growth.
Sigh, movies and music are my deepest love, but also are going to bring about my downfall.
I wonder who will marry(marriage? I think I should think about a girlfriend first!) me with these burdens, together with the financial load.
Hmm... With wendy getting the sickness, I wonder if I will too one day. = /
The Singapore International Film Festival (aka SIFF).
This year, only 5 shows due to budget, and extreme hatred for SISTEC.
Will be watching Tarnation, En Route to Baghdad, 4th World War, Yasmin, and Tokyo Noir.
Hope I make excellent choices with these films or else I will be one sad man.
Caught the short film finalist for SIFF just now.
Great stuff.
I'm rooting for either Family Portrait or Shout to win best short.
Dai Pau deserves an audience award for it's humour.
I really love my film addiction.
The more films I watch, the more enriched I feel, the more knowledgable I feel.
Especially with 'after film' critics with friends, the love grows even deeper.
While resting in between the SIFF shorts and heading on for the 2nd S'pore short cuts, we found this place at Shaw building that's clearing it's stock for CDs.
Being me, I obviously did my share in aiding the music industry's economical growth.
Sigh, movies and music are my deepest love, but also are going to bring about my downfall.
I wonder who will marry(marriage? I think I should think about a girlfriend first!) me with these burdens, together with the financial load.
Hmm... With wendy getting the sickness, I wonder if I will too one day. = /
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Oh my god.
These shorts are so cool I've gotta share them with everyone.
First of all things, I must thank yani for putting the link it on her blog.
Fucking excellent stuff.
I highly recommand the Guy Ritchie(Star) and Wong Kar Wai(The Follow) ones under season 1.
Big budgets really make excellent stuff, even for shorts.
http://intl.bmwfilms.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Was listening to Observatory's 'How's Life' while taking a puff at the window with a glass of milk.
'Twas raining outside.
Everybody I know loves the rain, saying that it's brings down the tempreture, soothes the soul, blah blah.
But as I take a slow drag and sip on my milk(not like Tim who sips on vodka at home), I realise that the rain only serves to dampen my mood.
Furthermore, with a view of a police car downstairs with lots of people crowding around the void deck of the opposite block, the sight is too emo to bear.
Dark clouds, silence(from where I'm standing), and with an Observatory song in the background, it would be a natural no-no even if you were in the most excellent of moods.
The atmosphere makes you wonder about your current situation, and pushes you to go toward the negative depths of your mind.
Will I get my job? Will I make it through school? Will I be thrash amongst society in the future?
Oh well, at least the bmw films perked up my moodiness for a while.
Thought of these few lines on the bus to work few days back.
We don't appreciate, honesty anymore
Give me more lies, restrict the truth,
'cos they're meant for fools
We don't appreciate, sympathy anymore
Shout, moan, and cry. Get to your knees,
'cos they're meant to bleed
Hope to touch on them soon to complete it.
And I'll end this entry with the Observatory song, 'How's Life?'
----------------------------------------------------------------
The Observatory - How's Life
how’s life?
living like this
how is life?
we’ll see
life is slow
do we know
if it’s meant to be?
what to do?
there’s nothing new
is there any place to go?
nothing comes
& nothing goes
& our faces in reluctance show
life’s good
that’s what they say
but by the way
by the way
life’s incomplete so
so we slip & it’s all downhill
what to do?
& do we know?
do we know we’re in luck or no?
what to do?
& do we grow?
do we ever grow up or no?
how’s life these days?
do we ever grow up?
so we slip & it’s all downhill
how’s life these days?
These shorts are so cool I've gotta share them with everyone.
First of all things, I must thank yani for putting the link it on her blog.
Fucking excellent stuff.
I highly recommand the Guy Ritchie(Star) and Wong Kar Wai(The Follow) ones under season 1.
Big budgets really make excellent stuff, even for shorts.
http://intl.bmwfilms.com
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Was listening to Observatory's 'How's Life' while taking a puff at the window with a glass of milk.
'Twas raining outside.
Everybody I know loves the rain, saying that it's brings down the tempreture, soothes the soul, blah blah.
But as I take a slow drag and sip on my milk(not like Tim who sips on vodka at home), I realise that the rain only serves to dampen my mood.
Furthermore, with a view of a police car downstairs with lots of people crowding around the void deck of the opposite block, the sight is too emo to bear.
Dark clouds, silence(from where I'm standing), and with an Observatory song in the background, it would be a natural no-no even if you were in the most excellent of moods.
The atmosphere makes you wonder about your current situation, and pushes you to go toward the negative depths of your mind.
Will I get my job? Will I make it through school? Will I be thrash amongst society in the future?
Oh well, at least the bmw films perked up my moodiness for a while.
Thought of these few lines on the bus to work few days back.
We don't appreciate, honesty anymore
Give me more lies, restrict the truth,
'cos they're meant for fools
We don't appreciate, sympathy anymore
Shout, moan, and cry. Get to your knees,
'cos they're meant to bleed
Hope to touch on them soon to complete it.
And I'll end this entry with the Observatory song, 'How's Life?'
----------------------------------------------------------------
The Observatory - How's Life
how’s life?
living like this
how is life?
we’ll see
life is slow
do we know
if it’s meant to be?
what to do?
there’s nothing new
is there any place to go?
nothing comes
& nothing goes
& our faces in reluctance show
life’s good
that’s what they say
but by the way
by the way
life’s incomplete so
so we slip & it’s all downhill
what to do?
& do we know?
do we know we’re in luck or no?
what to do?
& do we grow?
do we ever grow up or no?
how’s life these days?
do we ever grow up?
so we slip & it’s all downhill
how’s life these days?
