wasted mind, wasted thoughts

Just felt a sudden tinge of gloominess rush through me.
Don't mind the rubbish.

When you feel low, as in way low, have you felt as if the whole world doesn't understand you?
You really think something is worth your time.
You really feel that it is something that the world should hold on to.
You really feel that it is the best thing that ever happened to you.
You would like everyone else to feel the same way about it.

But everyone just goes the opposite way.
They give up on you.
They look down on you.
They think it's pointless.
They think everything you're doing is wrong.
They make you feel like you're the only weird person that ever existed.

But dread not.
Always remember that you're not alone.
There're other "weirdos" out there.
And if we look from the other side, they're the weirdos.

Who actually defines one anyway?

That's it.
11 shows in 6 days.
It's kinda tiring.
Did 3 Japanese film fest show yesterday, BU.SU, Tsugami, and Osaka Story.
Basically, Japanese shows, to me, are mainly draggy because of the way they go into so much detail. Scenary, people, blank space.
I endured the first 2 but kinda enjoyed Osaka Story. Kinda like Big Fish, in a way. Along the same line.

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The moment where your time is set.
I start to fear.
I plan my time ahead to calculate the years that will go by.
I start to fear.
I think of the future and what would lie ahead of me.
I start to fear.
I do not want to go any deeper into the wilderness.
I start to fear.
I want my time to be used wisely, not wasted.
I start to fear.

Wendy, I'm glad there's someone to worry with me now.
Now you know how I feel.

Went on a film/movie craze this week.
Caught 8 films within 5 days.
Now, that's a personal record.

These are the shows I caught
1) The Mother (Ok)
2) The Ghost (Watchable crap)
3) Dodgeball (Watchable crap, not as good as the other Stiller shows)
4) The Choirboys (FANTASTICALLY SUPERB!)
5) Harold and Kumar go to White Castle (Totally enjoyable crap)
6) Possible Loves (SUPERBLY FANTASTIC!)
(p.s. yanni, why never tell me you were there? Could have said hi!)
7) The Trespasser (crap, but the nudity made up for it)
8) The Great Challange (extreme crap)

There're a couple more I would love to watch, but I need to stop and carry on next week.
Brain dead sooner or later.
Calling all film buffs, please contact me.
I need more companions on my quest for good films.

There's the Japanese film fest and European film fest coming up.
I'm gonna be so broke.
For the love of cinematography!

Breathtaking.
So lovely, yet sad, for me.
Some lines from "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane.

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Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

Oh.. so lovely.
Keane has such great music.
Breathtaking lyrics.

Bedshaped - Keane
Many's the time I ran with you down
The rainy roads of your old town
Many the lives we lived in each day
And buried altogether
Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

I know you think I'm holding you down
And I've fallen by the wayside now
And I don't understand the same things as you
But I do

Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

3 Golden Rules When Visiting a Public Toilet
1) Check if there's toilet paper
2) never use too much toilet paper wiping the seat from pee
3) Make sure there's enough toilet paper left after wiping the seat from pee

Enough said.

Echo And The Bunnymen - Nothing Lasts Forever

I want it now
I want it now
Not the promises of what tomorrow brings
I need to live in dreams today
I`m tired of the song that sorrow sings
And I want more than I can get
Just trying to, trying to, trying to forget
I`d walk to you through rings of fire
And never let you know the way I feel
Under skin is where I hide
The love that always gets me on my knees
And I want more than I can get
Just trying to, trying to, trying to forget
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
I want it now
I want it now
Don`t tell me that my ship is coming in
Nothing comes to those who wait
Time`s running out the door you`re running in
So, I want more than I can get
Just trying to, trying to, trying to forget
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
Nothing ever lasts forever
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you
All the shadows and the pain
Are coming to you

I went for Leslie's solo set in the end.
I couldn't stand the thought of waiting at home for nothing substantial.
I rushed there and got myself a seat in time.
The short 45min set was good, with the usual melancholy tunes that make you feel as though in a dream. The lyrics so honest and depressing that it hits you hard on the head, waking you up from the aimless lives we all live in, making you want to do something about it.
The audience, or whatever audience there was, were either his family, his friends, or rich yuppies who could afford the $11.
I felt like the odd one out, sitting at the back, listening attentively to the words from the songs.
To add on, I enjoyed the set "alone" as the cameraman had to do his runs, plus, entertain his two companions.
Not wanting to carry on being an odd one out, I left quietly after the set.
How sad it is to see only roughly 30 odd people whom mostly were related to Leslie attending his mini set.
The scene needs publicity, more than what we have now.

I am pissed.
Isn't it a wonder how we army men willingly allow the army to steal time from under our noses?
I intend to go watch Leslie Low's solo set at the esplanade but now I'm still at home waiting for the bloody unit to activate a recall manning.
I am pissed.
To honour how well the army actually deprives us of our free time, I wrote something which I posted on Aspirations and Inspirations.
Oh yah, throw in my middle finger to honour them as well.
No, make it two middle fingers.

I ALMOST DIED.
I'm still trembling as I am typing on my keyboard.
An oh so fucker of a driver decided to turn out from a junction and onto the third lane which was mine.
That would make him cut 3 lanes in one breathe.
HE WAS LIKE JUST AN INCH AWAY FROM ME.
I SWEAR.
I had to swerve to avoid seeing the devil too early and made time to horn and to wave the finger.
That got him flashing his high beam to retaliate.
I say balls to the fucker whoever he was.
I swear that if he actually knocked me down and I survived the vicious attack, I would whack the balls out of that bastard's groin.
I swear.

On a lighter note, I have signed up for the SFS at last!
That would mean more free screenings for me and discounted rates for film fests!
Oh am I excited or what.
Whoever's reading this, please sign up too as I need more kakis to join my legion of movie buffs.
Oh yah, fuck the fucking driver.
Till then.

Lovely simple lyrics, don't you think?

Frank Sinatra - The Way You Look Tonight
Some day, when I’m awfully low,
When the world is cold,
I will feel a glow just thinking of you...
And the way you look tonight.

Yes you’re lovely, with your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft,
There is nothing for me but to love you,
And the way you look tonight.

With each word your tenderness grows,
Tearing my fear apart...
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose,
It touches my foolish heart.

Lovely ... never, ever change.
Keep that breathless charm.
Won’t you please arrange it ?
’cause I love you ... just the way you look tonight.

Mm, mm, mm, mm,
Just the way you look to-night.

I've decided to put up my humble writings on another blogspot where it'll all be compiled.
Not to worry as my routine bitching and stuff will still be done here. The other one is more lyrics based.
I've this hopeful ambition to be an aspiring lyricist/musician/writer/sound engineer/journalist/bummer one day, and hopefully this will be a start.
I hope my other blogspot will be widespread among others and that it might gain attention from the right people.
Once more, I hope everyone will give me your comments, be it pleasant or awful so that I can learn from others.
The site is named Aspirations and Inspirations.
Hopefully it serves it's purpose.